Last year I loved my job. I loved the school, minus the director. But I didn’t really talk to anyone during the week outside of school. I was a little lonely. But, just lonely.
This year, my program is killing my spirit. Don’t get me wrong, I love the kids, I love my co-teachers, I love my fellow workers and my principal. I have lots of people to talk to all week long. But I’m struggling with the apathy for learning.
It’s a far greater struggle than loneliness. I didn’t think it would be, but it really is. I became a teacher because I love teaching and watching others learn. And, learning myself.
I didn’t become a teacher to get a paycheck while not caring if the students get it or not. I’m not the kind of teacher that can go through a “lesson” and not be bothered with whether or not the students have learned anything as long as I follow point A to point B as laid out in the lesson plan.
I care that their book often doesn’t make sense, teaches incorrect grammar and handwriting. I care that they don’t remember anything because it’s taught out of context and they don’t use it outside of my classroom. I care that they have so little time with me and that their other “English” classes are all taught in Chinese. I care that their parents don’t want them to learn anything that isn’t printed in their book.
I am truly grateful from this to realize that I can deal with loneliness far better now that I have seen the effect of apathy.
Day three of no smoking and I had to sit through an interminably pointless and frustrating “training” on how to use the 4 C’s to create a learning environment in the Globalization Classes.
Pointless Point A: I do not teach any Globalization Classes. I haven’t and I won’t while here. Every “training” this year has been on the Globalization classes.
Pointless Point B: The students are still repeat learning how to answer basic questions like, “How are you?” and “How’s the weather?” in the 5th and 6th grades, the grades these classes are taught in. Yes, yes, I know, by the time they hit 5th grade they should have this down, having been taught the same subject material for the last 5-6 years, but they just don’t.
Pointless Point C: The homeroom teachers and parents don’t want any extra work that actual teaching would entail.
“Just do what they [the parents and HR teachers] want, stop trying to change their lives, quit caring, go in do the lesson, get your paycheck”. Literally two dozen different people have told me those exact words over the last 8 months.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Turkey, let me teach again. Care that your students learn. Give me the chance and I will help your children learn.