I was listening to this popular song, maybe you’ve heard of it?
I’m all about the bass by Meghan Trainor.
I am all about people loving themselves and being at least tolerant of, if not just accepting and appreciative of others in all the many ways we are.
At first, I really liked this song. It has a cute catchy beat and what seems to be a positive message.
It, along with countless other agendas out there, claims to be about accepting self and others, BUT only if you’re not in a different category.
A few years back, one of the teachers I worked with was pretty famous for being a civil rights activist and teacher, on both sides of the coin. She claimed civil rights, others claimed racism.
I believe it was both; for the same reason that Meghan Trainor thinks she’s supporting loving yourself.
For the same reason that feminists are seen as both good and bad.
Because they put down, shame, and trivialize the groups that have been doing the same to them.
I want to state loud and clear that we cannot build up one group by bringing another down.
A while ago, a long while perhaps, I was having a discussion with a friend. She stated that chivalry was gone, that men don’t open car or building doors anymore, and that feminism had ruined manners.
I said I wasn’t sure that was so true, and she then stated that I must be one of those feminists that think no one should open doors for anyone anymore.
Not true. I am a feminist that believes that we should all be equal in how treat others and expect to be treated. I.e. whoever gets to the door first should open the door for the rest. Whoever is driving should open the passenger door. Whoever gets home first should start dinner. Whoever opens the trash lid to see it full, should take it out. If you make the mess, clean it up. If you lose your temper, apologize. If you have your heart set on something, mention it. If someone mentions “it”, pay attention and do what you can. etc.
You don’t get equality by everyone being rude, impolite, apathetic, or distant.
Men have long held a high powerful ranking in most societies. Yes, men have long abused that rank. And, yes, women have tried to use what they have to manipulate into positions of power. But this ever present male dominated society still dictates that even women with a powerful position are seen as inferior.
But here’s the thing, Equality means no one is abusing or manipulating. No one is more or less. We’re all just letting each other be and being good people to each other. If you’re good at something, you get to do it and you get to get paid the same as someone else doing the same thing. Plain and simple. There are no prejudices about who’s taking care of babies, bills, laundry, cars, or opening doors.
You can’t raise women up by putting men down. If you lower the position that men are on, you can only hope to raise women to the new, lower mark. Why make the meeting place of equality lower than the original position of high regard? Men need to stop hoarding the ranks through abuse, women need to stop whoring their worth. And I don’t necessarily mean sex here. I mean many women are willing to give up valuable parts of themselves, ie their personal worth, to gain position, instead of being able to gain position based on their actual worth.
We all need to be allowed to be the unique individuals we are, supported in doing the jobs we’re good at, educated without prejudice, and advanced through merit. That’s what equality is.
This teacher I knew would put a lot of emphasis and passion into teaching students about how awful white people were. Her reasoning was to help her minority students feel better about themselves because “their” people hadn’t done such awful things.
Ok, I can see her point and her reasoning. BUT, you don’t get equality by putting one group down to make the other feel better. YEP, that’s how the minorities got to be so left out, because the people of power shoved them down. But equality doesn’t mean lowering to raise, it means making everyone Equal. Why make the equal place lower?
White privilege needs to stop, it’s completely totally true. But that means removing the invisibility and treating everyone equally, not trapping everyone into the blanket. Look at South Africa right now, it’s just a topsy turvy of what it was before. That’s not equality.
And all this train of thought started with a song.
I see the magazine workin’ that Photoshop
We know that shit ain’t real
C’mon now, make it stop
If you got beauty, beauty, just raise ’em up
‘Cause every inch of you is perfect
From the bottom to the top
Ok, that’s great, but then there’s this:
You know I won’t be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll
So if that’s what you’re into then go ahead and move along
Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that
No I’m just playing. I know you think you’re fat
It’s just skinny shaming instead of fat shaming. WHEN THERE SHOULD BE NO SHAMING AT ALL. If every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top, then that should include everyone, the people in the middle, the skinny people, the fat people, everyone. You don’t create equality in who is seen as pretty by trying to make the current attractive the new ugly, you let everyone be attractive as they are.
What do you think?