Monthly Archives: April 2017

April is over

Another April has come and is now over.  Today is the last of the anniversary’s that destroy my April’s every year.

I’m taking a lesson from Meredith Grey and dancing it out tonight.  I’m drinking a beer.  And I simply do not care what I look like to any body that can see me from anywhere.  My brother is with me, he helps me live through this day every year.

These April’s are also my moments to remember that I have survived, I have lived, I have had much pleasure with my pain.  I have enjoyed, I have been enlightened, and I have grown.  They bring memories, these April’s, memories that start painful, horrible.  My body remembers and I am in pain all over again.  Does anyone else out there do that?  Does your physical body actually hurt Years later?  I don’t know, but that’s what mine does.  I work through it all year, in one way or another, but then it comes out again each anniversary.  Then I push through it, again.  I grow some more.  I learn some more.

I have been afraid to live again after this last time.  I was so alive and then brought so close to death.  How do I settle these?  This Libra soul of mine that wants balance gets thrown for a loop every April.  This last two years has been tough.  But then the beautiful positive moments come rushing in as well, as this day ends.  My travels, my global friends, the amazing sights I’ve seen, this is truly a beautiful world.  They bring me back to center.

There are the evils that reside in this world, but they will not take me down.  I have a (possibly faulted) sense of unsinkable optimism.  Once I was talking with a new friend and I described it like this, “It’s like I’m at the top of a mountain singing about the beautiful universe, and then I get knocked down.  So I stand on the top of the roof and shout, ‘look at that beautiful moon’.  Then I get knocked down.  I place my feet firmly on the ground and say, ‘what a beautiful sky’.  Then I get knocked down and with my head in the mud, I whisper, ‘those are beautiful clouds don’t you think?'”  Sometimes, too much lately, I recognize that they are rain clouds, but still…..  “I” can’t even kill the optimism in me, I don’t know how anything else is going to if I can’t.  (That’s not a dare! Merely an observation.)

SO many of the blessings I’ve been asking for have come to fruition this last month, fashioned out of thin air, and then given to me.  Just as I felt I couldn’t hold on, good things happened.  I love my new job, even with all the new things to learn and do.  I love my new apartment.  I love this new country and all my new Albania friends, along with my friends from around the world that are here too.

I am grateful today is over.  I’m glad this April is over.  I am glad I am here and growing and doing this life thing the best I can.  I decided that I’m going to take 30 minutes every day with my students, and we are going to learn a dance.  A fun, silly, slightly awesome dance for the Talent Show I am organizing at school.  Not because they think it’s a good idea, but because I need a reason to make myself get up and dance every day, be silly every day in a way that makes sense to me.  I need to start taking time to give what I have instead of trying so hard to give what everyone demands whether or not I have it.  I think that will help with how overwhelmed I’ve felt lately.  And I think they need the down time as well, *and I might be able to tie it in to ‘exploring’ dance????  Maybe… I’m still learning the twists of PYP haha.

Ok, the next awesome song is on and I’m not done dancing it out yet.  Good night my lovelies, peace and joy to you all.


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Posted by on 25/04/2017 in living


Dear Albanian drivers

I’ve come to love Albania.  The landscape is wonderful. The people are friendly.  And there’s still much I have to see.  However, I’ve noticed a few things that drivers could make note of to make everyone a little happier, avoid the daily, random road, 20 minute, cluster#$*!, and possibly save a few lives.

  1. You are driving cushy moving death machines.  Please realize that.  Death. Machines.
  2. You are not driving cushy moving phone booths.  See note 1.  Your poker game or chat session is not more important than the lives on the road with you.
  3. You are not the only person/ vehicle on the road, and not the only one that matters once you realize someone else is there.  If you can use your eyes to look at your phone, you can use them to watch around you as you drive your moving death machine.
  4. The middle of the road is not a parking spot.  Double parking is not ok.  Triple parking is just plain rude.  Checking google maps in the middle of an intersection is both rude and stupid.  (Other people driving their moving death machines while looking at their phones instead of the road might hit you.)  If you can’t fit your car into an actual parking space, park somewhere else.
  5. The dotted lines in the road are not for decoration.  Driving on top of the dotted lines is an incorrect use of the lines.  They signify lane divisions.  The middle of the road is not a lane.  Just because you can fit, doesn’t mean you should try to fit, 4 cars wide on a two lane road.
  6. Turning left should happen from the left side of the road.  Driving past all the cars lined up to turn left and then turning in front of them is rude.  Turning left from the right side of the road is not correct.  Go an extra block, get in the left lane, and turn around.  This is an instance where using your eyes to watch the road will benefit you and those around you.
  7. You do not need to be in front, your destination is generally not going to move if you don’t arrive before everyone else on the road, (you’re not racing all the other people to your destination, because they’re going to their own destinations).  You don’t get any front of line privileges.  No one is going to give you a medal for getting to the front.  Racing past someone, only to slam on your brakes before you turn, is only going to cause an accident, it may get you some metal, but not a medal.  Honking your horn so you can race by, down the middle of the road, past the people driving in their lanes is -no, just, no.
  8. Laws of physics prove that if you are 3 cars behind the first car, you will not start moving for at least 3 seconds after the light turns green.  Honking your horn the instant the light turns green isn’t going to get you anywhere any faster.  See note 7 about not being in a race.
  9. You don’t own any more of the road than any one else, just because you have a big or fancy car.  Even if you have paid way more taxes than anyone else, your piece of road you “own” doesn’t move with you.  So unless you are directing traffic on whatever tiny slice of road you feel you own, you are sharing everybody else’s pieces of the road with them.  They have just as much right to drive as you do and do not have to yield to you, even if they’re in a POS.  Deal with it. (Since you pay your taxes to the government, it’s their money now, so they own the road, not you.)
  10. Motorbikes also get to drive on the road.  Lane splitting is acceptable here, so quit trying to run them off the road because you don’t like that they can get in front of you during traffic.  They exist, you can’t just blow by them as if they’re not there. You don’t get to honk your horn so they’ll move onto the shoulder, so you can get in front of them.  And yes, women drive them too.  Quit staring like you saw a purple turtle on a unicorn before running them off the road.


You are driving a death machine.  A moving vehicular machine that can kill, if driven carelessly.  Start driving as if you realize the responsibility that goes with the privilege, please?

1 Comment

Posted by on 14/04/2017 in living


It’s a new post!!

April fool.

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Posted by on 01/04/2017 in living

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