Dear Albanian drivers

14 Apr

I’ve come to love Albania.  The landscape is wonderful. The people are friendly.  And there’s still much I have to see.  However, I’ve noticed a few things that drivers could make note of to make everyone a little happier, avoid the daily, random road, 20 minute, cluster#$*!, and possibly save a few lives.

  1. You are driving cushy moving death machines.  Please realize that.  Death. Machines.
  2. You are not driving cushy moving phone booths.  See note 1.  Your poker game or chat session is not more important than the lives on the road with you.
  3. You are not the only person/ vehicle on the road, and not the only one that matters once you realize someone else is there.  If you can use your eyes to look at your phone, you can use them to watch around you as you drive your moving death machine.
  4. The middle of the road is not a parking spot.  Double parking is not ok.  Triple parking is just plain rude.  Checking google maps in the middle of an intersection is both rude and stupid.  (Other people driving their moving death machines while looking at their phones instead of the road might hit you.)  If you can’t fit your car into an actual parking space, park somewhere else.
  5. The dotted lines in the road are not for decoration.  Driving on top of the dotted lines is an incorrect use of the lines.  They signify lane divisions.  The middle of the road is not a lane.  Just because you can fit, doesn’t mean you should try to fit, 4 cars wide on a two lane road.
  6. Turning left should happen from the left side of the road.  Driving past all the cars lined up to turn left and then turning in front of them is rude.  Turning left from the right side of the road is not correct.  Go an extra block, get in the left lane, and turn around.  This is an instance where using your eyes to watch the road will benefit you and those around you.
  7. You do not need to be in front, your destination is generally not going to move if you don’t arrive before everyone else on the road, (you’re not racing all the other people to your destination, because they’re going to their own destinations).  You don’t get any front of line privileges.  No one is going to give you a medal for getting to the front.  Racing past someone, only to slam on your brakes before you turn, is only going to cause an accident, it may get you some metal, but not a medal.  Honking your horn so you can race by, down the middle of the road, past the people driving in their lanes is -no, just, no.
  8. Laws of physics prove that if you are 3 cars behind the first car, you will not start moving for at least 3 seconds after the light turns green.  Honking your horn the instant the light turns green isn’t going to get you anywhere any faster.  See note 7 about not being in a race.
  9. You don’t own any more of the road than any one else, just because you have a big or fancy car.  Even if you have paid way more taxes than anyone else, your piece of road you “own” doesn’t move with you.  So unless you are directing traffic on whatever tiny slice of road you feel you own, you are sharing everybody else’s pieces of the road with them.  They have just as much right to drive as you do and do not have to yield to you, even if they’re in a POS.  Deal with it. (Since you pay your taxes to the government, it’s their money now, so they own the road, not you.)
  10. Motorbikes also get to drive on the road.  Lane splitting is acceptable here, so quit trying to run them off the road because you don’t like that they can get in front of you during traffic.  They exist, you can’t just blow by them as if they’re not there. You don’t get to honk your horn so they’ll move onto the shoulder, so you can get in front of them.  And yes, women drive them too.  Quit staring like you saw a purple turtle on a unicorn before running them off the road.


You are driving a death machine.  A moving vehicular machine that can kill, if driven carelessly.  Start driving as if you realize the responsibility that goes with the privilege, please?

1 Comment

Posted by on 14/04/2017 in living


One response to “Dear Albanian drivers

  1. Rita

    15/04/2017 at 01:06

    Are you sure you are in Albania and not Ecuador?!?!



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