She asked me, “Who’s side are you on anyway?”
I’m not on anyone’s side. And here’s why:
As soon as we believe we have a “side”, we take ourself out of the relationship. There are no “sides” in relationships, only points of view.
If we have taken our self out of the relationship, then we need to look at what we’re expecting. Are we expecting a specific response? an apology? a coming over to our side, in order to be ok in the relationship again?
What we really need is to feel heard. We don’t have to agree. We don’t have to “give in”, or expect, or demand, or acquiesce, or call a truce. We just have to hear each other. To take our personal feelings, our ego, set it to the side for a moment, and look at another point of view -without our own agenda for what the result of that look should be.
I can listen to someone who feels passionately about a subject, in direct opposition to how I feel about it. We don’t have to agree. We DO have to respect.
We are not actively taught how to hear other people. And we should be. Think about how different the world would be if leaders could hear each other, respect each other, and then allow for disagreeance.
We wouldn’t see forced acceptance of the beliefs of the controlling powers. We wouldn’t see violence in the interactions between disagreeing groups.
And in relationships, in our special personal companionships, being heard is what we need, not sides. That “other side” still wants the same end result, to be heard, and to be with you.
Take a minute to hear your people today.
Love and light to you